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A Collection of Scottish and Irish songs, compiled by Ioseph of Locksley.

This songbook is divided into four parts for ease of downloading. You

are reading part 2 of 4.

 

NOTE: Also see the files: p-songs-msg, song-sources-msg, songs-msg, songs2-msg,

harps-msg, guitar-art, drums-msg, bardic-msg, Bardic-Guide-art.

 

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NOTICE -

 

This file is a collection of various messages having a common theme that

I  have collected from my reading of the various computer networks. Some

messages date back to 1989, some may be as recent as yesterday.

 

This file is part of a collection of files called Stefan's Florilegium.

These files are available on the Internet at: http://www.florilegium.org

 

I  have done  a limited amount  of  editing. Messages having to do  with

seperate topics  were sometimes split into different files and sometimes

extraneous information was removed. For instance, the  message IDs  were

removed to save space and remove clutter.

 

The comments made in these messages are not necessarily my viewpoints. I

make  no claims  as  to the accuracy  of  the information  given  by the

individual authors.

 

Please  respect the time  and efforts of  those who have written  these

messages. The  copyright status  of these messages  is  unclear  at this

time. If  information  is published  from  these  messages, please give

credit to the orignator(s).

 

Thank you,

    Mark S. Harris                  AKA:  Lord Stefan li Rous

    mark.s.harris at motorola.com           stefan at florilegium.org

************************************************************************

 

From: beudach at aol.com (Lord Graeme O'Baoighill)

Newsgroups: rec.org.sca

Subject: Graeme's Aforementioned Songbook

Date: 27 Mar 1995 16:10:41 GMT

Organization: Duchy Tarragon

 

 

             A COLLECTION OF SCOTTISH AND IRISH SONGS

 

            compiled and transcribed by Joe Bethancourt

=========================================================================

 

<part 2 of 4>

 

                  GLENWHORPLE (THE "G" SONG)

                               -Traditional

 

   There's a braw fine clan o' lads as ilka man should ken

   They are de'ils at the fichtin, they hae clured a sicht o' men

   They hae suppit muckle whiskey when to ceildh theu gang ben

   The heilan men of braw Glenwhorple.

 

CHORUS: HEUGHT! Glenwhorple, Heilan' men,

        Great strong whuskey-suckin' Heilan' men

        They were hard-workin', hairy legged, Heilan' men,

        Slainte mhor, Glenwhorple.

 

   They were founded by McAdam who of all the men was first

   He resided in Glen Eden and he pipit fit tae burst

   Wi' a fig-leaf for a sporran and a perfect Heilan' thirst

   Till he stole away the apple from Glenwhorple

 

   When the waters o' the deluge drookit all the whole world o'er

   The chieftain of the clan y'know his name was Sean McNoah

   So a muckle boat he biggit and he sneckit up the door

   And he sailed away from drooned Glenwhorple

 

   McNoah sent a piper out to see if there was land

   He came back wi' an empty whuskey bottle in each hand

   But they couldna comprehend him, he was fu', ye understand

   For he found a public house aboon the water

 

   There was a jock named Joshua, a Sapper he by trade

   He went awa' to Jericho aboon a muckle raid

   And the walls they went a-tumblin', and with loot the lads were paid

   For the sappin' and the minin' in Glenwhorple.

 

   When wise King Solomon was ruler o'er the glen

   He had a hundred pipers and a thousand fichtin' men

   And ten thousand wives and concubines, for as I'm sure ye ken

   He kept a pow'rful household in Glenwhorple

 

   O there was a birkie bangster was the ruler o'er the clan

   Well his name it was t'Wallace and he was a fichtin' man

   And he went about the border and the Southron turned and ran

   From the dingin' of the claymore in Glenwhorple

 

   Many o' the clansmen went and left their heilan' home

   They loaded up on ships, aboot the world t'roam

   They were lookin' for a special place to call their very own

   That's how (insert name) became Glenwhorple

 

   O what a sight this morning wi' the clan all on parade

   Wi' the claymore and the pipers and the braw Glenwhorple plaid

   And the pipey almost sober, and the chieftain no' afraid

   O' seein' tartan spiders in Glenwhorple

 

   REPEAT CHORUS TWICE TO END

 

                            *

 

                   THE GREEN FIELDS OF FRANCE

                       (WILLIE MC BRIDE)

                                  Eric Bogle

 

         Well, how do you do, young Willie McBride?

         Do you mind if I sit here down by your grave side

         And rest for a while 'neath the warm summer sun

         I've been working all day and I'm nearly done

         I see by your grave stone you were only nineteen

         When you joined the great fallen in nineteen sixteen

         I hope you died well and I hope you died clean

         Or, young Willie McBride, was is slow and obscene?

 

Chorus: Did they beat the drum slowly, did they play the fife lowly

        Did they sound the dead march as they lowered you down

        And did the band play the last post and chorus

        Did the pipes play the flowers of the forest?

 

         And did you leave a wife or a sweetheart behind

         In some faithful heart is your memory enshrined

         Although you died back in nineteen sixteen

         In that faithful heart are you forever nineteen

         Or are you a stranger without even a name

         Enclosed and forever behind the glass frame

         In an old photograph, torn and battered and stained

         And faded to yellow in a brown leather frame.

 

         The sun now it shines on the green fields of France

         There's a warm summer breeze it makes the red poppies dance

         And look how the sun shines from under the clouds

         There's no gas, no barbed wire, there's no guns firing now

         But here in this graveyard it's still no mans land

         The countless white crosses stand mute in the sand

         To mans blind indifference to his fellow man

         To a whole generation that were butchered and damned.

 

         Now young Willie McBride I can't help but wonder why

         Do all those who lie here know why they died

         And did they believe when they answered the cause

         Did they really believe that this war would end wars

         Well, the sorrows, the suffering, the glory, the pain

         The killing and dying was all done in vain

         For young Willie McBride it all happened again

         And again, and again, and again, and again.

 

                             *

 

                        THE GALWAY RACES

 

  As I rode down to Galway town to seek for recreation

  On the seventeenth of August me mind being elevated

  There were multitudes assembled with their tickets at the station

  Me eyes began to dazzle and I'm goin' to see the races.

 

Chorus:   With your whack-fa-the-da-for-the-diddle-ee-iddle-day.

 

  There were passengers from Limerick and passengers from Nenagh

  And passengers from Dublin and sportsmen from Tipperary

  There were passengers from Kerry, and all quarters of our nation

  And our member, Mr. Hearst, for to join the Galway Blazers.

 

  There were multitudes from Aran, and members from New Quay Shore

  Boys from Connemara and the Claire unmarried maidens

  There were people from Cork city, who were loyal, true and faithful;

  Who brought home the Fenian prisoners from diverse foreign nations.

 

  It's there you'll see confectioners with sugarsticks and dainties

  The lozenges and oranges, the lemonade and raisins!

  The gingerbread and spices to accomodate the ladies

  And a big crubeen for thruppence to be pickin' while you're able.

 

  It's there you'll see the gamblers, the thimbles and the garters

  And the spotting Wheel of Fortune with the four and twenty quarters

  There was others without scruple pelting wattles at poor Maggy

  And her father well-contented and he lookin' at his daughter.

 

  It's there you'll see the pipers and the fiddlers competing

  The nimble footed dancers a-tripping over the daisies

  There were others crying cigars and lights and bills for all the

races

  With the colors of the jockeys and the prize and horses' ages.

 

  It's there you'll see the jockeys and they're mounted out so stately

  The pink, the blue, the orange, and green, the emblem of our nation

  When the bell was rung for starting, all the horses seemed impatient

  I thought they never stood on ground their speed was so amazing.

 

  There was half a million people there from all denominations

  The Catholic, the Protestant, the Jew, and Presbyterian

  There was yet no animosity, no matter what persuasion

  But "failte" and hospitality inducin' fresh acquaintance.

 

 

                               *

 

                     HARD TIMES OF OLD ENGLAND

                                 -Traditional

 

        Come all brother tradesmen who travel along,

        I pray, come and tell me where the trade is all gone

        Long time have I travelled, and I cannot find none

 

CHORUS: And it's oh, the hard times of old England

        In old England very hard times!

 

        Provisions you buy at the shop, it is true

        But if you've no money, there's none there for you

        So what is a poor man, and his family to do?

 

        You will go to the shop where you'll ask for a job

        They'll answer you there with a shake and a nod

        Well, that is enough to make a man turn and rob!

 

        You will see the poor tradesmen a-walking the streets

        From morning to night their employment to seek

        And scarce do they have any shoes on their feet

 

        Our soldiers and sailors have just come from war

        And fighting for Queen and for Country this year

        Come home to be starved, should have stayed where they were

 

        And now to conclude and to finish my song

        Let us hope that these hard times, they will not last long

        I hope soon to have occasion to alter my song

 

        And sing: Oh, the good times of old England

                  In old England, jolly good times!

 

                                   *

 

                WITH HER HEAD TUCKED UNDERNEATH HER ARM

                                       -Author Unknown

                         -recorded by the Kingston Trio

 

(Intro):  In the Tower of London, large as life,

           The ghost of Anne Boleyn walks, they declare!

           Poor Anne Boleyn was once King Henry's wife,

           Until he made the Headsman bob her hair!

           Ah yes, he did her long, long years ago!

           And she comes back a night to tell him so!

 

           (CHORUS): With her head tucked underneath her arm

                     She walks the Bloody Tower!

                     With her head tucked underneath her arm

                     At the midnight hour!

 

          Through the dusty corridors for miles and miles she goes

          She often catches cold, poor thing, it's cold there when it blows

          And it's awfully awfully awkward for the Queen to blow her nose

          With her head tucked underneath her arm!

 

          CHORUS

 

          She's looking for King Henry and she'll give him what-for!

          Gadzooks! She's awfully mad at him for having spilled her gore!

          And just in case the Headsman wants to give her an encore...

          She's got her head tucked underneath her arm!

 

          CHORUS

 

          Once she met King Henry, he was in the Canteen Bar,

          He said "Are you Jane Seymor, Anne Bolyn or Katherine Parr?"

          "How in Heaven's name am I to know just who you are?

          With your head tucked underneath your arm !!!!!"

 

          The Sentries think that it's a football that she carries in

          And when they've had a few they shout: "Is Army going to win?"

          They think that it's Red Grange instead of poor old Anne Boleyn

          With her head tucked underneath her arm!

 

(Reprise Intro):

 

           Sometimes Good King Henry gives a spread

           For all his pals and gals, a ghastly crew!

           The Headsman carves the joint, and cuts the bread,

           Then in comes Anne Boleyn to queer the do!

           She holds her head up with a wild war-whoop!

           And Henry cries: "Don't drop it in the soup!"

 

           CHORUS

 

                               *

 

                         THE HIGHWAYMAN

 

                         Lyrics: Alfred Noyes

                         Melody: Phil Ochs

 

The wind was a torrent of darkness among the gusty trees,

The moon was a ghostly galleon tossed upon cloudy seas

The road was a ribbon of moonlight over the purple moor,

And the highwayman came riding, riding, riding-

The highwayman came riding, up to the old inn door.

 

Over the cobbles he clattered and clashed in the dark inn yard

And he tapped with his whip on the shutters, but all was locked and

barred;

He whistled a tune to the window and who should be waiting there

But the landlord's black eyed daughter, Bess, the landlord's daughter

Plaiting a red love-knot into her long black hair.

 

"One kiss, my bonny sweetheart, I'm after a prize tonight,

But I shall be back with the yellow gold before the morning light;

Yet, if they press me sharply, and harry me through the day,

Then look for me by moonlight, watch for me by moonlight,

I will come to thee by moonlight, though Hell should bar the way."

 

He did not come in the dawning; he did not come at noon;

And out of the tawny sunset, before the rise of the moon,

When the road was a gypsy's ribbon, looping the purple moor,

A red-coat troop came marching, marching, marching-

King George's men came marching, up to the old inn door.

 

They tied her up to attention, with many a sickening jest,

And they bound a musket beside her, with the barrel to her breast.

"Now keep good watch!" and they kissed her.  She heard the dead man

say,

"Look for me by moonlight, watch for me by moonlight,

I will come to thee by moonlight, though Hell should bar the way."

 

"Look for me by moonlight."  The hoof-beats ringing clear.

"Watch for me by moonlight."  Were they deaf they did not hear?

Her eyes grew wide for a moment; she drew one last deep breath,

Then her finger moved in the moonlight, her musket shattered the

moonlight

Shattered her breast in the moonlight, and warned him - with her death.

 

He turned, he spurred him westward; he did not know who stood

Bowed with her head o'er the musket, drenched with her own red blood.

Not 'til the dawn he heard it; his face grew gray to hear

How Bess, the landlord's daughter, the landlord's black-eyed daughter,

Had watched for her love by moonlight, and died in the darkness there.

 

Back he spurred like a madman, shrieking a curse to the sky,

With the white road smoking behind him, and his rapier brandished high!

Blood red were his spurs in the golden noon, wine-red was his velvet

coat,

When they shot him down on the highway, with a bunch of lace at his

throat.

 

And still of a winter's night, they say, when the wind is in the trees

When the moon is a ghostly galleon tossed upon cloudy seas,

When the road is a ribbon of moonlight over the purple moor,

A highwayman comes riding, riding, riding-

A highwayman comes riding, up to the old inn door......

  

                             *

 

                         THE HOLY GROUND

 

Fare thee well my lovely Dinah, a thousand times adieu

For we're going away from the holy ground and the girls we all love true

We will sail the salt seas over and we'll return for sure,

To see again the girls we love, and the holy ground once more

 

CHORUS: (shout:) FINE GIRL YOU ARE!

                 You're the girl I do adore!

                 And still I live in hopes to see

                 The holy ground once more

                 shout:) FINE GIRL YOU ARE!

 

And now the storm is raging and we are far from shore

The poor old ship is tossing about and the rigging is all torn

And the secret of my mind my love, you're the girl I do adore

And still I live in hopes to see the holy ground once more

 

And now the storm is over and we are safe and well

We'll go into a public house and sit and drink our fill

We will drink strong ale and porter, and we'll make the rafters roar

And when our money is all spent we will go to sea once more

 

                               *

 

                   HO-RO, MY NUT BROWN MAIDEN

 

        CHORUS: Ho ro, my nut brown maiden!

                Hee ree, my nut brown maiden!

                Ho ro, ro. maiden!

                For she's the maid for me!

 

Her eye so mildly beamin'             And since from thee I parted

Her look so frank and free           A long and weary while

In wakin' and in dreamin'             I wander, heavy hearted,

Is ever more with me!                 With longin' for thy smile

 

Oh, Mary, mild eyed Mary             The face with kindness glowin'

By land or on the sea,               The face that hides no guile

Though time and tide may vary,        The light grace of thy goin'

My heart beats true to thee!         The witchcraft of thy smile!

 

With thy fair face before me         Mine eyes that never vary

How sweetly flew the hour             From pointin' tae the glen

When all thy beauty o'er me           Where blooms my Highland Mary

Came streamin' in its' power!         Like wild rose 'neath the ben

 

                 And when with blossoms laden

                 Bright summer comes again,

                 I'll fetch my nut brown maiden

                 Down from the bonny glen!

 

                               *

 

                        I'LL TELL ME MA

                      (STREET SONG MEDLEY)

 

               I'll tell me ma when I go home

               The boys won't leave the girls alone

               They pulled my hair and they stole my comb

               Well that's all right till I go home

               She is handsome, she is pretty,

               She is the belle of Belfast City

               She is counting..one, two, three!

               Please won't you tell me, who is she.

 

               Albert Mooney says he loves her

               All the boys are fighting for her

               They knock at the door and they ring at the bell

               Sayin', "Oh my true love, are you well?"

               Out she comes as white as snow

               Rings on her fingers, bells on her toes

               Old Johnny Murray says she'll die

               If she doesn't get the fellow with the rovin' eye.

 

               Let the wind and the rain and the hail blow high

               And the snow come tumblin' from the sky

               She's as nice as apple pie,

               She'll get her own lad by and by

               When she gets a lad of her own,

               She won't tell her ma when she comes home

               Let them all come as they will

               For it's Albert Mooney she loves still.

 

  (Wall Flower)

 

               Wall flower, wall flower, growing up so high

               He's got the measles, he'll never ever die

               We'll go to Annie Kelly's house, she has no relations

               She will tick and tack and turn (her back)

               And kiss the congregations.

 

  (When I was Young)

 

               When I was young I had no sense

               I bought a fiddle for eighteen pence

               The only tune that I could play

               Was over the hills and very far away.

 

       Chorus: So early in the morning, early in the morning

               So early in the morning before the break of day.

 

                               *

 

                           I'M A ROVER

 

Chorus: I'm a rover, seldom sober,

        I'm a rover of high degree

        For when I'm drinking I'm always thinking

        How to gain my love's company.

 

        Though the night be dark as dungeon

        Not a star to be seen above

        I will be guided without a stumble

        Into the arms of my own true love

 

        He stepped up to her bedroom window,

        Kneeling gently upon a stone

        He rapped at her bedroom window

        "Darling dear, do you lie alone?

 

        It's only me, your own true lover,

        Open the door and let me in

        For I have come on a long journey

        And I'm near drenched to the skin!"

 

        She opened the door with the greatest pleasure

        She opened the door and she let him in

        They both shook hands and embraced each other

        Until the morning they lay as one.

 

        The cocks were crawing the birds were whistling

        The streams they ran free about the brae.

        Remember lass, I'm a ploughboy laddie

        And the farmer I must obey.

 

        Now, my love, I must go and leave thee

        And though the hills they are high above

        But I will climb them with greater pleasure

        Since I've been in the arms of my love.

 

                           *

 

                    IRISH SOLDIER BOY

 

          At a cottage door one winters' night

          As the snow lay on the ground

          Stood a youthful Irish soldier boy

          To the mountains he was bound

          His mother stood beside him saying

          You'll win my boy don't fear

          With loving arms around his waist

          She tied his bandolier.

 

          Good bye, God bless you mother dear

          I hope your heart won't pain

          But pray to God that you should see

          Your soldier boy again

          And when I'm out in the firing line

          It will be a source of joy

          For you to know that you're remembering still

          Your Irish Soldier boy.

 

          And when the fighting it was o'er

          And the flag of truce was raised

          The leaders ordered fire to cease

          All Ireland stood amazed

          His comrades came to the cottage door

          With a note from her pride and joy

          With an aching heart she cried God be good

          To her Irish soldier boy.

 

          Good-bye, God bless you mother dear

          I'm dying a death so grand

          From wounds received in action

          Trying to free my native land

          I hope we'll meet in heaven above

          In that land beyond the sky

          Where you'll always be in company with

          Your Irish soldier boy.

 

                            *

 

                      IRISH SOLDIER LADDIE

 

      'Twas a morning in July, I was walking to Tipperary

      When I heard a battle cry from the mountains over head

      As I looked up in the sky I saw an Irish soldier laddie

      He looked at me right fearlessly and said:

 

Chorus: Will ye stand in the band like a true Irish man,

        And go and fight the forces of the crown?

        Will ye march with O'Neill to an Irish battle field?

        For tonight we go to free old Wexford town!

 

      Said I to that soldier boy,"Won't you take me to your captain

      T'would be my pride and joy for to march with you today.

      My young brother fell in Cork and my son at Innes Carthay!"

      Unto the noble captain I did say:

 

      As we marched back from the field in the shadow of the evening

      With our banners flying low to the memory of our dead

      We returned unto our homes but without my soldier laddie

      Yet I never will forget those words he said:

 

                            *

 

                         THE IRISH ROVER

 

        In the year of our Lord eighteen hundred and six

        We set sail from the coal quay of Cork

        And we were sailin' away with a cargo of bricks

        For the grand city hall in New York

        We'd and elegant craft, it was rigged fore and aft

        And oh, how the trade winds drove her

        She had twenty three masts, and she stood several blasts

        And they called her the Irish Rover.

 

Chorus: Fare thee well, my pretty little girl, I must sail away

        Fare thee well, my pretty little girl, I must sail away.

 

        There was Barney McGee from the Banks of the Leigh

        There was Hogan from County Tyrone

        There was Johnny McGirk who was scared stiff of work

        And a chap from West Meade named Malone

        There was slugger O'Toole who was drunk as a rule

        And fighting Bill Tracy from Dover

        And your man, Mick McCann, from the Banks of the Bann

        Was the skipper on the Irish Rover.

 

        We had one million bags of the best Sligo rags

        We had two million barrels of bone

        We had three million bales of old nanny goat tails

        We had four million barrels of stone

        We had five million hogs and six million dogs

        And seven million barrels of porter

        We had eight million sides of old blind horses hides

        In the hold of the Irish Rover.

 

        We had sailed seven years when the measles broke out

        And the ship lost her way in the fog

        And the whole of the crew was reduced down to two

        'Twas meself and the captain's old dog

        Then the ship struck a rock! Oh, Lord, what a shock!

        And nearly tumbled over

        Turned nine times around and the poor old dog was drowned

        I'm the last of the Irish Rover.

 

                            *

 

                       JOHNNIE COPE

                       (Circa 1745)

 

                Cope sent a challenge from Dunbar,

                sayin' Charlie meet me an' y'daur,

                An' I'll learn ye th' art of War,

                if y'meet me in the mornin'!

 

        (Chorus): Hi, Johnnie Cope, are y'waukin' yet?

                  And are your drums a beatin' yet?

                  If ye were waukin', I wad wait,

                  When y'come wi' yer carls in the mornin'!

 

                When Charlie looked the letter on,

                he drew his sword the scabbard from,

                Come, follow me my merry men,

                and we'll meet Johnnie Cope in the morning!

 

                Now, Johnnie, be guid as yer word,

                come let us try baith fire and sword,

                And dinna flee like a frichted bird,

                that's chased from it's nest in the morning!

 

                When Johnnie Cope he heard of this,

                He thoucht it wadna be amiss

                Tae hold a horse in readiness,

                Tae flee awa' in the mornin'!

 

                Fie, now Johnnie, get up and run!

                The Highland bagpipes mak' a din!

                It's better tae sleep in a hale skin,

                For it will be a bluidy mornin'!

 

                When Johnnie Cope tae Dunbar cam,

                They speired at him "Whaur are your men?"

                "The de'il confound me gin I ken,

                For I left them a' in the mornin'!"

 

                Now, Johnnie, troth ye werena blate,

                To cam wi' news of your ain defeat,

                And leave your men in sic a strait,

                Sae early in the mornin'!

 

                "In Faith," quo Johnnie, "I got sae flegs

                Wi' their claymores and philibegs!

                Gin I face them again, de'il break my legs!

                Sae I wish ye all good mornin'!"

 

                               *

 

                      JENNY LASS (JOHNNY LAD)

 

        I bought a wife in Edinburgh for a bawbee

        And then I got a farthing back to buy tobacco wi'!

 

        CHORUS: And wi' you, and wi' you, and wi' you my Jenny lass

                I'll dance the buckles off my shoes wi' you my Jenny

lass!

 

        Samson was a mighty man, and he fought wi' a cuddie's jaw

        He fought a million battles wearin' crimson flannel drawers!

 

        There was a man in Nineveh, and he was wondrous wise

        He jumped into a hawthorn bush and scratched out both his eyes!

        And when he saw his eyes were out, with all his might and main,

        He jumped into the hawthorn bush, and scratched them in again!

 

        Napoleon was an emperor, he ruled o'er land and sea,

        He ruled o'er France and Germany, but he never ruled over me!

 

        One Sunday I went walkin' and there I saw the Queen

        Playin' at the football wi' the lads on Glascow Green!

        The captain of the other side was scorin' in great style

        The Queen she called a policeman, and had him thrown in jail!

 

        Jenny is a bonny lass, she is a lass of mine

        And I've never had a better lass, and I've had fifty-nine!

 

                               *

 

                          JUG OF PUNCH

 

            'Twas very early in the month of June

            As I was sitting with my glass and spoon

            A small bird sat on an ivy bunch

            And the song he sang was the jug of punch.

 

Chorus:   Too-rah-loo-rah-loo, Too-rah-loo-rah-lay

         Too-rah-loo-rah-loo, Too-rah-loo-rah-lay

          A small bird sat on an ivy bush

          And the song he sang was the jug of punch.

 

            If I were sick and very bad

            And was not able to go or stand

            I would not think it at all amiss

            To pledge my shoes for a jug of punch.

 

            What more diversion can a man desire

            Than to sit him down by a snug coal fire

            Upon his knee a pretty wench

            And upon the table a jug of punch.

 

            And when I'm dead and in my grave

            No costly tomb stone will I have

            I'll dig a grave both wide and deep

            With a jug of punch at my head and feet.

 

                               *

 

                         JOHNNY MC ELDOO

 

        There was Johnny McEldoo, and McGee, and me

        And a coupla two or three, went on a spree one day.

        We had a bob or two, which we knew how to blew

        And the beer and whiskey flew and we all felt gay!

        We visited McMann's, MacIllman's, Humpty Dan's,

        We then went into Swann's our stomachs for to pack,

        We ordered out a feed which indeed we did need

        And we finished it with speed, but we still felt slack!

 

        Johnny McEldoo turned red, white and blue,

        And a plate of Irish stew he soon put out of sight

        He shouted out "Encore!" with a roar for some more

        Said he'd never felt before such a keen appetite

        He ordered eggs and ham, bread and jam, what a cram!

        But him we couldn't ram tho we tried our level best

        For everything we brought, cold or hot, mattered not

        It went down him like a shot, but he still stood the test!

 

        He swallowed tripe and lard by the yard, we got scared

        We thought it would go hard when the waiter brought the bill

        We told him to give o'er, but he swore he could lower

        Twice as much again and more before he had his fill

        He nearly supped a trough full of broth, says McGrath:

        "He'll devour the tablecloth if you don't hold him in!"

        When the waiter brought the charge McEldoo felt so large

        He began to scowl and barge and his blood went on fire!

 

        He began to curse and swear, tear his hair in despair,

        And to finish the affair called the shopman a liar!

        The shopman he drew out and no doubt he did clout

        McEldoo he kicked about like an old football!

        He tattered all his clothes, broke his nose, I suppose

        He'd have killed him with a few blows in no time at all!

 

        McEldoo began to howl and to growl by my sowl

        He threw an empty bowl at the shopkeeper's head

        It struck poor Micky Finn, peeled the skin off his chin

        And the ructions did begin, and we all fought and bled!

        The peelers did arrive, man alive! Four or five,

        At us they made a drive for us all to march away

        We paid for all the mate that we ate, stood a trate,

        And went home to reminate on the spree that day!

 

                             *

 

                        KELLY OF KILLANE

 

      What's the news, what's the news, oh my bold Chevalier

      With you long barrelled gun of the sea?

      Say what wind from the south blows his messenger here

      With a hymn of the dawn for the free

      Goodly news, goodly news, do I bring youth of forth

      Goodly news shall you hear, Bargy man

      For the boys march at morn from the south to the north

      Led by Kelly the boy from Killane.

 

      Tell me who is that giant with gold curling hair

      He who rides at the head of your band?

      Seven feet is his height, with some inches to spare

      And he looks like a king in command

      Ah my lads that's the pride of the bold chevaliers

      'Mong our greatest of heroes, a man!

      Fling your beavers aloft and give three ringing cheers

      For John Kelly, the boy from Killane.

 

      Enniscorthy's in flames, and old Wexford is won

      And the Barrow tomorrow we cross

      On ahill o'er the town we have planted a gun

      That will batter the gateway of Ross

      All the Forth men and Bargy men march o'er the heath

      With brave Harvey to lead on the van

      But the foremost of all in the grim Gap of Death

      Will be Kelly, the boy from Killane.

 

      But the gold sun of freedom grew darkened at Ross

      And it set by the Slaneys red waves

      And poor Wexford stript naked hung high on a cross

      And her heart pierce by traitors and slaves

      Glory O! Glory O! to her brave sons who died

      For the cause of long down-trodden man!

      Glory O! to Mount Leinster's own darling and pride

      Dauntless Kelly, the boy from Killane.

 

                             *

 

                       KILKELLY IRELAND

                           -Peter and Steve Jones

            (c) copyright 1984, 1988 Peter & Steve Jones

 

   Kilkelly, Ireland eighteen and sixty, my dear and loving son John:

   Your good friend the schoolmaster Pat MacNamara

   So good as to write these words down

   Your brothers have all gone to find work in England

   The house is so empty and sad

   The crop of potatoes is sorely infected

   A third to a half of them bad

   And your sister Bridget and Patrick O'Donnell

   Are going to get married in June

   And your mother says not to work on the railroad

   And be sure to come on home soon.

 

   Kilkelly, Ireland eighteen and seventy, my dear and loving son John:

   Hello to your Mrs. and to your four children

   May they grow up healthy and strong

   Michael has got in a wee bit of trouble

   I suppose that he never will learn

   Because of the dampness there's no turf to speak of

   And now there's nothing to burn

   Bridget is happy you named the child for her,

   You know she's got six of her own

   You say you've found work but you don't say what kind

   And when will you be coming home?

 

   Kilkelly, Ireland eighteen and eighty dear Michael and John my sons:

   I'm sorry to give you the very sad news

   That your dear old mother passed on

   We buried her down at the church at Kilkelly

   Your brothers and Bridget were there

   You don't have to worry she died very quickly

   Remember her in your prayers

   And it's so good to hear that Michael's returning

   With money he's sure to buy land

   But the crop has been poor and people are selling

   At any price that they can.

 

   Kilkelly, Ireland eighteen and ninety my dear and loving son John:

   I suppose that I must be close on to eighty

   It's thirty years since you've been gone

   Because of all the money you sent me

   I'm still living out on my own

   Michael has built himself a fine house

   And Bridget's daughters are grown.

   And thank you for sending your family picture

   They're lovely young women and men

   You say you might even come for a visit

   What joy to see you again

 

   Kilkelly, Ireland eighteen and ninety-two my dear brother John:

   I'm sorry that I didn't write sooner

   To tell you Father passed on

   He was living with Bridget she said he was cheerful

   And healthy right up to the end

   You should have seen him playing with the grandchildren

   Of Pat MacNamara, your friend

   We buried him along side of Mother

   Down at the Kilkelly church yard

   He was a strong man, a feisty old man

   Considering his life was so hard

   And it's funny the way he kept talking about you

   He called for you at the end.

   Why don't you think about coming to visit

   We'd love to see you again..........

 

                               *

 

                   THE LUM HAT WANTIN' THE CROON

 

        The burn was big wi' spate

        And there cam tumblein' doon,

        Topsalterie, the half of a gate

        An auld fish-hake, and a great muckle skate,

        And a lum hat wantin' th' croon

 

        The auld wife stood on th' bank,

        As they gied swirlin' roon,

        She took a guid look, and syne says she,

        "There's food and there's firin' gaen tae th' sea,

        And a lum hat wantin' th' croon!"

 

        So she gruppit th' branch of a saugh,

        And she kickit off ane of her shoon,

        An' she stuck oot her fit, but it caught in the gate,

        An' awa' she went wi' th' great muckle skate,

        An' a lum hat wantin' th' croon!

 

        She floated fu' many a mile,

        Past cottage and village and toon,

        She'd an awfu' time astride of the gate,

        Though it seemed t'gree fine wi' th' great muckle skate,

        And the lum hat wantin' th' croon!

 

        A fisher was waukin' th' deck,

        By the licht of his pipe and th' moon,

        When he sees an auld body astride of a gate,

        Come bobbin' along in the waves wi' a skate,

        And a lum hat wantin' th' croon!

 

        "There's a man overboard!" cries he,

        "Ye hear?" quo she, "I'll droon!

        A man overboard? It's a wife on a gate!

        It's auld Mistress Mackintosh here wi' a skate,

        And a lum hat wantin' th' croon!

 

        Was she nippit tae death at th' Pole?

        Has India bakit her broon?

        I canna tell that, but whatever her fate,

        I'll wager ye'll find t'was shared by a gate,

        And a lum hat wantin' th' croon!

 

        There's a moral attached tae my song:

        On greed ye should aye gie a froon!

        When ye think of the wife that was lost for a gate,

        An auld fish hake and a great muckle skate,

        And a lum hat wantin' th' croon!

 

                             *

 

                      LEAVING OF LIVERPOOL

 

        Fare well to you my own true love

        I am going far away

        I am bound for California

        And I know that I'll return some day.

 

Chorus: So fare thee well my own true love

        For when I return united we will be

        It's not the leaving of Liverpool that grieves me

        But my darling when I think of thee.

 

        I have shipped on a Yankee sailing ship

        Davy Crockett is her name

        And Burgess was the captain of her

        And they say she is a floating hell.

 

        Oh the sun is on the harbor love

        And I wish I could remain

        For I know it well be a long, long time

        Before I see you again.

 

                           *

 

                           LOCH LOMOND

                               -Traditional

 

         By yon bonnie banks and by yon bonnie braes

         Where the sun shines bright on Loch Lomond

         Where me and my true love won't ever meet again

         On the bonnie bonnie banks of Loch Lomond

 

CHORUS: Oh, you take the high road, and I'll take the low road

        And I'll be in Scotland before you

        And me and my true love won't ever meet again

        On the bonnie, bonnie banks of Loch Lomond

 

         'Twas there that we parted in yon shady glen

         On the steep, steep side of Ben Lomond

         Where in purple hue, the hieland hills we view

         And the moon comin' out in the gloamin'.

 

         The wee birdies sing, and the wild flowers spring

         While in sunshine the waters are sleepin'

         But the broken heart it kens nae second spring again

         Tho' the woeful may cease from their greetin'

 

                               *

 

                         LANNIGAN'S BALL

                           -Michael McCann (early 1800's)

 

    In the town of Athy one Jeremy Lanigan

    Battered away till he hadn't a pound

    His Father he died and made him a man again

    Left him a farm and ten acres of ground

    He gave a grand party to friends and relations

    Who did not forget him when come to the will

    If you'll but listen I'll make your eyes glisten

    At rows and ructions at Lanigan's Ball.

 

    Chorus:   Six long months I spent in Dublin,

              Six long months doin' nothin' at all

              Six long months I spent in Dublin

              Learning to dance for Lanigan's Ball

                I stepped out..I stepped in again,

                I stepped out...I stepped in again

                I stepped out..I stepped in again,

                Learning to dance for  Lanigan's Ball.

 

    Myself to be sure got free invitations

    For all the nice girls and boys I might ask

    And just in a minute both friends and relations

    Were dancing as merry as bees round a cask

    There was lashing of punch and wine for the ladies

    Potatoes and cakes there was bacon and tea

    There were the Nolans, Dolans, O'Gradys

    Courtin' the girls and dancing away.

 

    They were doing all kinds of nonsensical polkas

    All round the room in a whirligig

    But Julia and I soon banished their nonsense

    And tipped them a twist of a real Irish jig

    Oh how that girl got mad on me

    Danced till you'd think that the ceiling would fall

    I spent three weeks at Brook's Academy

    Learning to dance for Lanigan's Ball.

 

    The boys were as merry, the girls all hearty

    Dancing away in couples and groups

    Till an accident happened young Terence McCarthy

    He put his right leg through Miss Finerty's hoops

    The creature she fainted and cried "Meelia murther"

    Called for her brothers and gathered them all

    Carmody swore that he'd go no further

    Till he'd have satisfaction at Lanigan's Ball.

 

    In the midst of the row Miss Kerrigan fainted

    Her cheeks at the same time as red as a rose

    Some of the boys decreed she was painted

    She took a small drop too much I suppose

    Her sweetheart Ned Morgan so powerful and able

    When he saw his fair colleen stretched by the wall

    He tore the left leg from under the table

    And smashed all the dishes at Lanigan's Ball.

 

    Boys, oh boys, 'tis then there was ructions

    Myself got a kick from big Phelim McHugh

    But soon I replied to his kind introduction

    And kicked up a terrible hullabaloo

    Ould Casey the piper was near being strangled

    They squeezed up his pipes, bellows, chanters, and all

    The girls in their ribbons, they all got entangled

    And that put an end to Lanigan's Ball.

 

                                *

 

                     LASSIE WI' THE YELLOW COATIE

 

      (Chorus) Lassie wi' the yellow coatie

               Would y'wed a muirland Jockie?

               Lassie wi' th' yellow coatie

               Would y'busk and gang wi' me?

 

I have milk and meal in plenty       Wi' my lassie and my doggie

I have kale and cakes fu' dainty     O'er th' lea and thru the boggie

I've a but-an-ben fu' genty         Nane on earth was e'er sae vogie

But I lack a lass like thee!         Or as blythe as we will be!

 

Although my mailen be but sma'       Haste ye, lassie, tae my bosom

And little gold I have t'shaw        While the roses are in blossom!

I hae a heart without a flaw         Time is precious; dinna lose them

An' I will gie it all t'thee!        Flowers will fade, and sae shall ye

 

    (Final Chorus) Lassie wi' the yellow coatie

                   Ah! Take pity on your Jockie!

                   Lassie wi' the yellow coatie

                   I'm in haste, and sae should ye!

 

                               *

 

                   LOVER'S HEART

                         -Andy Stewart

                         Phil Cunningham

                         recorded by Silly Wizard

                                     "A Glint of Silver"

                         copyright 1986 Bracken Music Services

 

         Am      G      Am7 C        Dm        Dm7       F   F-G

She was in the flowery garden when first she caught my eye  

     Am          G      Am7 C       Dm7               G

And I just a marching soldier; she smiled as I passed by

       Dm         Em         Am       C          C        Am      Dm  E

The flowers she held were fresh and fair, her lips were full and red

     Am     G           C   Am           Dm7     G7      C

And as I passed that shady bower, these words to me she said

 

          C     G       C        Am

         Last night we spoke of love

          C         Am       Dm    E

         Now we're forced to part

               Am           G         C        Am

         You leave to the sound of a marching drum

                  Dm7       G7      C

         And the beat of a lover's heart

 

 

She was by the shore in the evening when next I saw my dear

Running barefoot by the water side, she called as I drew near

The sunlight glanced at the water's edge making fire of her auburn hair

My young heart danced at her parting words that hung in the evening air

 

(chorus)

 

She was on the Strand next morning when orders came to sail

And as we slipped our ropes away I watched her from the rail

She threw me a rose, which fell between us, and floated on the Bay

And as our ship pulled from the shore, I heard her call and say

 

(chorus)

 

Now the soldier's life won't suit me, sweet music is my trade

For I'd rather melt the hardest heart than pierce it with a blade

Let the time be short till I return to my home in the mountains high

And the loving girl who stole my heart with these words as I passed by

 

(chorus)

 

                               *

 

                        LOCK THE DOOR, LARRISTON!

                             -James Hogg (1797)

 

        Lock the door, Larriston, Lion of Linnesdale!

        Lock the door, Larriston, Lowther comes on!

        The Armstrongs are flyin', the widows are cryin'

        Castleton is burning, and Oliver is gone!

        Lock the door, Larriston, high in the weather gleam,

        See how the Saxon plumes bob in the sky!

        Yeoman and carbinier, billman and halbardier!

        Fierce is the foray, and far is the cry!

 

        Bewcastle brandishes high his bold scimitar,

        Ridley is riding his fleet-footed grey!

        Hedley and Howard there, Wandale and Windermere,

        Lock the door, Larriston, hold them at bay!

        Why dost thou smile, oh bold Elliot of Larriston?

        Why does the joy-candle gleam in thine eye?

        Thou bold border-ranger, beware of thy danger!

        Thy foes are relentless, determined and nigh!

 

        Elliot raised up his steel bonnet, and lookit out

        His hand grasped the sword with a nervous embrace.

        Oh welcome brave foemen, on earth there are no men

        More gallant to meet in the fray or the chase!

        Little know you of the hearts I have hidden here

        Little know you of our moss-troopers' might!

        Linhope and Sorbie true, Tundhope and Milburn too!

        Gentle in manner, but lions in fight!

 

        I have Mangerton, Oglvie, Raeburn and Netherbie,

        Old Sim of Whitram, and all his array!

        Come all Northumberland, Teasdale and Cumberland!

        Here at the Breeker tower shall end the affray!

        Scowled the broad sun over the links of green Liddesdale

        Red as the beacon-light tipped he the wold

        Many a bold martial eye mirror'd that morning sky!

        Never more looked on his orbit of gold!

 

        Shrill was the bugle's note, dreadful the warrior's shout,

        Lances and halberds in splinters were torn

        Helmet and halberd then braved the claymore in vain

        Buckler and armet in shivers were torn!

        See how they wane, the proud files of the Windermere

        Howard, ah, woe to the hopes of the day!

        Hear the wild welkin rend, while the Scots shouts ascend:

        Elliot of Larriston! Elliot for aye!

 

                               *

 

                           LORD NELSON

                               -Tommy Makem

                           copyright 1967, 1969 Tiparm Music

 

        Lord Nelson stood in pompous state, upon his pillar high

        And down along O'Connell Street he cast a wicked eye

        He thought how this barbaric race had fought the British Crown

        Yet they were content to let him stay right there in Dublin town!

 

CHORUS: So remember Brave Lord Nelson, boys,

        He has never known defeat

        And for his reward they stuck him up

        In the middle of O'Connell Street!

 

        For many years, Lord Nelson stood, and no one seemed to care

        He would squint at Dan O'Connell who was standin' right down there

        He thought: 'The Irish love me or they wouldn't let me stay,

        All except that band of blighters that they call the IRA!'

 

        And then in nineteen sixty-six, on March the seventh day,

        A bloody great explos-i-on made Lord Nelson rock and sway!

        He crashed, and Dan O'Connell cried, in woeful misery:

        'Now twice as many pidg-i-ons will come and s--- on me!'

 

CHORUS (final): So remember brave Lord Nelson, boys,

                He has never known defeat!

                And for his reward they blew him up

                In the middle of O'Connell Street!

 

                               *

 

                       LASSIE LIE NEAR ME

                             -Traditional

 

          Lang have we parted been, lassie my dearie

          Now we are met again, lassie lie near me

 

          Near me, near me, lassie my dearie

          Lang hast thou lain alane, lassie lie near me

 

          All that I have endured, lassie my dearie

          In your arms it is cured, lassie lie near me

 

          Near me, near me, lassie my dearie

          Lang hast thou lain alane, lassie lie near me

 

          If in the spring we meet, lassie my dearie

          All joy will be near me, lassie lie near me

 

          Near me, near me, lassie my dearie

          Lang hast thou lain alane, lassie lie near me

 

                               *

 

                     THE LYKEWAKE DIRGE

                           -Traditional

 

              This ae nicht, this ae nicht,

              Every nicht and a'

              Fire and fleet and candleleet

              And Christ receive thy soul

              

              Alt. last line:

              (And **** take thine all!)

 

              When thou from here away have passed

              To Whinny Muir thou com'st at last

 

              If ever thou gavest hosen or shoon

              Sit thee down and put them on

 

              If hosen and shoon thou ne'er gavest nane

              The winds will pick thee to the bare bane

 

              From Whinny Muir when thou art passed

              To Purgatory fire thou com'st at last

 

              If ever thou gavest meat or drink

              The fire will never make thee shrink

 

              If meat or drink thou ne'er gavest nane

              The fire will burn thee to the bare bane

 

              From Purgatory fire when thou art passed

              To Brigg 'O'Dread thou com'st at last

 

              If ever thou gavest silver or gold

              By God's right hand be taken in fold

 

              If gold or silver thou ne'er gavest nane

              Thou shalt fall till the stars be gane

 

                               *

 

                         LORD OF THE DANCE

          -Gwyddion PenDderwyn, Amy Falkowitz, Ann Case, Len Rosenberg

                               recorded by Joe Bethancourt

                                           "Celtic Circle Dance"

 

        She danced on the water, and the wind was Her horn

        The Lady laughed, and everything was born

        And when She lit the sun and its' light gave Him birth

        The Lord of the Dance first appeared on the Earth

 

      (Chorus): Dance, dance, where ever you may be

                I am the Lord of the Dance, you see!

                I live in you, and you live in Me

                And I lead you all in the Dance, said He!

 

        I danced in the morning when the World was begun

        I danced in the Moon and the Stars and the Sun

        I was called from the Darkness by the Song of the Earth

        I joined in the Song, and She gave Me the Birth!

 

        I dance in the Circle when the flames leap up high

        I dance in the Fire, and I never, ever, die

        I dance in the waves of the bright summer sea

        For I am the Lord of the wave's mystery

 

        I sleep in the kernel, and I dance in the rain

        I dance in the wind, and thru the waving grain

        And when you cut me down, I care nothing for the pain;

        In the Spring I'm the Lord of the Dance once again!

 

        I dance at the Sabbat when you dance out the Spell

        I dance and sing that everyone be well

        And when the dancing's over do not think that I am gone

        To live is to Dance! So I dance on, and on!

 

        I see the Maidens laughing as they dance in the Sun

        And I count the fruits of the Harvest, one by one

        I know the Storm is coming, but the Grain is all stored

        So I sing of the Dance of the Lady, and Her Lord:

 

        The Horn of the Lady cast its' sound 'cross the Plain

        The birds took the notes, and gave them back again

        Till the sound of Her music was a Song in the sky

        And to that Song there is only one reply:

 

        The moon in her phases, and the tides of the sea

        The movement of the Earth, and the Seasons that will be

        Are the rhythm for the dancing, and a promise thru the years

        That the Dance goes on thru all our joy, and tears

 

        We dance ever slower as the leaves fall and spin

        And the sound of the Horn is the wailing of the wind

        The Earth is wrapped in stillness, and we move in a trance,

        But we hold on fast to our faith in the Dance!

 

        The sun is in the southland and the days grow chill

        And the sound of the horn is fading on the hill

        'Tis the horn of the Hunter, as he rides across the plain

        And the Lady sleeps 'til the Spring comes again

 

        The Sun is in the Southland and the days lengthen fast

        And soon we will sing for the Winter that is past

        Now we light the candles and rejoice as they burn

        And we dance the Dance of the Sun's return!

 

        They danced in the darkness and they danced in the night

        They danced on the Earth, and everything was light

        They danced out the Darkness and they danced in the Dawn

        And the Day of that Dancing is still going on!      

 

        I gaze on the Heavens and I gaze on the Earth

        And I feel the pain of dying, and re-birth

        And I lift my head in gladness, and in praise

        For the Dance of the Lord, and His Lady gay

 

        I dance in the stars as they whirl throughout space

        And I dance in the pulse of the veins in your face

        No dance is too great, no dance is too small,

        You can look anywhere, for I dance in them all!

 

                                   *

 

                        SHE MOVED THRU THE FAIRE

                                   -Padraic Colum

                       recorded by Theodore Bikel

 

         My young love said to me: My mother won't mind

         And my father won't slight you for your lack of kind

         She put her arms 'round me; these words she did say:

         It will not be long, love, 'til our wedding day!

 

         Then she stepped away from me, and she moved thru the Faire

         And so fondly I watched her move here and move there

         At last she turned homeward, with one star awake

         As the Swan in the evening moves over the lake.

 

         Last night she came to me, my dead love came in

         And so soft did she move that her feet made no din

         She put her arms 'round me; these words she did say:

         It will not be long, love, 'til our wedding day!

 

                             *

 

                       MacNAMARA'S BAND

 

Oh, me name is MacNamara I'm the leader of the band

Although we're few in numbers we're the finest in the land

We play at wakes and weddings and at every fancy ball

And when we play at funerals we play the March From Saul

 

Chorus: Oh, the drums go bang and the cymbals clang

        And the horns they blaze away

        McCarthy pumps the old bassoon while I the pipes do play

        And Hennessey Tennessee tootles the flute

        And the music is something grand

        A credit to old Ireland is MacNamara's band.

 

Right now we are rehearsin' for a very swell affair

The annual celebration - all the gentry will be there

When General Grant to Ireland came, he took me by the hand

Says he,"I never saw the likes of MacNamara's band."

 

             (If You're Irish Come Into The Parlour)

 

             If you're Irish, come into the parlour

             There's a welcome there for you

             If you're name is Timothy or Pat

             As long as you come from Ireland

             There's a welcome on the mat

             If you come from the Mountains of Mourne

             Or Killarney's lakes so blue

             We'll sing you a song and we'll make a fuss

             Whoever you are you're one of us

             If you're Irish this is the place for you.

 

Oh, I wear a bunch of shamrocks and a uniform of green

And I am the funniest lookin' Swede that you have ever seen

There's O'Briens and Ryans and Sheehans and Meehans, they come from Ireland,

But by yimminy, I'm the only Swede in MacNamara's band.

 

                               *

 

                         NOBODY'S MOGGY-LAND

 

                 (Tune: "No-man's Land," by Eric  Bogle)

                 (Words: Unknown, but doubtless depraved individual)

 

[Note: The words were written by Bob Kanefsky. You can find the official words -- and a pointer to the new parody CD it's been recorded on, called Roundworm -- on his web site

http://www.songworm.com/db/songworm-parody/NobodysMoggyLands.html

   - Stefan - 9/14/00.]

 

 

        Well, how are you doing, old Moggy the Cat?

        I just noticed you lying where I almost sat.

        Do you mind if I push you a bit to the side?

        I've been walking all day on the road where you died.

 

        You've been squashed like a butterfly pressed between glass:

        Were you hit by a truck that was moving too fast?

        Did he slam on the brakes as he saw you go past?

        Or, Moggy the Cat, did he step on the gas?

 

        CHORUS: Did he honk the horn loudly?

                Did you stand your ground proudly?

                Did a shadow fall o'er you as the truck mowed you down?

                Did you die with a yowl and a big fuss?

                Did the birds come and pick at your carcass?

 

        The ground squirrels and mice all seem happy today,

        The butterflies frolic and hummingbirds play.

        A mockingbird sits there composing a dirge

        'Till he finally yields to his scavenger urge.

 

        The robins and sparrows all join in the feast

        In their joyous relief that the terror has ceased.

        And the birds dance around you, not sad in the least,

        Like the Munchkins danced over the Witch of the East.

 

        (CHORUS)

 

        Old Moggy the Cat, I sure wish I knew why

        You road-kills look so damned surprised when you die.

        Did you think that some animal spirit survives?

        Did you really believe that a cat has nine lives?

 

        Well, if that is true, this is life Numbah Ten:

        Getting ever more flat, spinning 'round now and then,

        As the cars run you over again and again

        And again and again and again and again!

 

        (CHORUS)

 

                               *

 

                           THE MOOSE SONG

                               -Thomas Payton, et. al.

                           (tune: "Betsy From Pike")

      When I was a young girl (man) I used to like boys (girls),

      I fondled their tights (bodies) and played with their toys (curls),

      But me boy (girl) friend ran off with a salesman named Bruce,

      You'd never get treatment like that from a Moose!

 

      CHORUS: So it's Moose, Moose, I like a Moose,

              I've never had anything quite like a Moose,

              I've had many lovers, my life has been loose,

              But I've never had anything quite like a Moose!

 

      Now when I'm in need of a very good lay,

      I go to me stables and gets me some hay,

      I opens me window and spreads it around,

      'Cause Moose always comes when there's hay on the ground!

 

      Now I've made it with all kinds of beasties with hair,

      I'd make it with snakes if their fangs were not there,

      I've made it with walrus, two ducks and a goose,

      But I've never had anything quite like a Moose!

                                                         

      Now gorillas are fine for a Saturday night,

      And lions and tigers, they puts up a fight,

      But it just ain't the same when you slams your caboose

      As the feeling you gets when you humps with a Moose!

 

      I've tried many beasties on land or on sea

      I've even tried hump-backs that humped back on me!

      Sharks are quite good, tho they're hard to pull loose

      But on dry land there is nothing quite like a moose!

 

      Woodchucks are all right except that they bite

      And foxes and rabbits won't last thru the night!

      Cows would be fun, but they're hard to seduce

      But you never need worry should you find a moose!

 

      Step in my study, and trophies you'll find

      A black striped tiger and scruffy maned lion

      You'll know the elephant by his ivory tooth

      And the one that's a-winking, you know is the moose!

 

      The lion succumbed to a thirty-ought-six

      Machine guns and tigers I've proved do not mix

      The elephant fell by a bomb with a fuse

      But I won't tell a soul how I did in the moose!

 

      I've found many women attracted to me

      A few of them have had me over for tea

      Some say that they love me when they're feeling loose

      But I'd trade the world's women for one lovely moose!

 

      The good Lord made Adam, and then He made Eve

      Said He: "If you sin now, I'll ask you to leave!"

      They left not because of Eve's forbidden fruit

      But 'cause Adam decided the moose there were cute!

 

      The English are said to like boars who've had corn

      The Celtics just dream of the young Unicorn

      The Germans, it's said, just need leather and rope

      But give me a moose and I'll no longer mope!

 

      Now I've broken the laws in this god-awful state

      They've put me in prison and locked up the gate

      They say that tomorrow I'll swing from a noose

      But my last night I'll spend with a good sexy moose!

 

      Next morning the Governor's word reached my ears

      "We've commuted your sentence to ninety-nine years!"

      "You won't get parole; not a five minute's truce,

      And your friend goes to Sing-Sing, he's so big-a-moose!"

 

(slowly) Now that I'm old and advanced in me years,

         I'll look back on me life, and I'll shed me no tears,

         As I sit in me chair with me glass of Mateuse,

         And play hide the salami with Marvin (Millie) the Moose!

 

 

<end part 2 of 4>

<the end>



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